I am plogging along in my studies for the DOULA certification. So far the books that I have been reading are meant for midwifery, even though on the required reading list.
I have a personal prayer request for all who read my blog. My husband, Hugo, has applied for two jobs, one locally and one in Columbus. While I hate the idea of moving, I do really like Columbus, but as much as I like Columbus, I hate the idea of leaving two adult childrne behind in the South, esp my daughter who is about to embark on married life. So I think I would prefer the job here in nearby Charlotte. But it is hard to believe that we will even get a response to the resume and letter, never mind an interview! We have just had such a difficult past five years that it is hard to believe that something postitive will come our way. And that thought is a perfect introduction to my spiritual thought.
Most, no, all who know the difficulties of the past five years are simply astounded by all that has fallen on us. It is hard to understand the why, so we have come to the conclusion that it is better to focus on acceptance. But it is very, very hard to accept what feels at times like total abandoment by God.
A friend shared this excerpt from The Life of Padre Pio with me the other day:
"We can gather some faint idea of what God was working in the depths of Padre Pio's soul from the letters of this period. Speaking of his own sinfulness and wretchedness he says: "How difficult, Father, is the way of Christian perfection for a soul so ill-disposed as mine. My badness makes me fearful at every step I take" (4.7.1915). In this state of soul God often withdraws his presence for long periods and the sufferer can even believe himself lost: "Peace has been completely banished from my heart. I have become absolutely blind. I find myself enveloped in a profound night and no matter how I turn and toss I cannot find the light. How then can I walk before the Lord ? ... He has rightly thrown me among the everlasting dead whom He no longer remembers" ( 8.3.1916).
God permits, for the good of His servant, horrible temptations against faith when the soul seems no longer even to believe: "My Father, how difficult it is to believe"; and against hope: "It sees itself wholly rejected by the Lord." ( 8.3.1916). To these are added other trials of aridity and desolation through which the mystic enters more deeply into the knowledge of his own wretchedness before God and in the end feels himself forsaken by all. The devil too is let loose to plague the soul by all manner of diabolical temptations and illusions, in fact the mystic comes to feel himself so abandoned by God that he wonders whether all is not simply the work of Satan."
I do believe we are in a battle with Satan in our family. Surprisingly this gives me great courage. Instead of feeling abanonded, I feel challenged to give my all to our prayer life. All the more reason to continue in my decision to give up full time blogging and stick to weekly posts. Our prayer life, which the past month has fallen to even lower priorities that ever, needs to be revived.
How should we purge our homes?
(Click here to read the whole article, but note that this is not good reading for a young child. While one should be aware of the existence of Satan, we do need to protect the innocence of our children. )
We can pray the Rosary, says Father Fortea, "read the Bible together,
sprinkle Holy Water in the various rooms, come together before a holy image
and beg protection and so forth. The persistent prayer of a family, over the
course of several weeks or months, can completely destroy the demonic
infestation in their house."
After reading the complete article, I am more determined than ever to increase my personal prayer time and renew our family prayer life. Do I still waste time worrying. Sadly, yes. We have bills to pay and the business is still slow so please keep us in your prayers as well, as we come up on these deadlines.
