Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Ever wonder what we drive in?

Just Joking!

This is the truck my husband has driven many times into the mountains and through a variety of States to pick up merchandise. It is a sound truck and typically he had one of our youngers sons with him on these trips. They loved to pull the horn when he would let them. We have enjoyed owning such a neat truck but the time has come to sell it and I will be quite sad to see it go. I never got to go on any of the trips and kinda always wanted to. Anyway - we need to sell this and hopefully soon. Please pray that our ads on and on eBay will bring a quick sale that moves smoothly and that our truck finds a good home. Read more!

I can only wonder...

Today - my spirits match the weather. It is dark outside and the skies are weeping and my tears mix with the rain. I am consumed by the monstor of envy.

Today I really need a mother. Someone to comfort me, someone I can call and talk to and maybe be cheered a little, and encouraged by to hold on a little longer. Someone to say "Hold on honey, maybe a change for the good is just around a corner." I can only wonder what it is like to have such a person in one's life.

Today I would like a sister, who is my friend - whom I can call and be cheered by. Someone I knew who cared and would always be there for me through thick and thin. Or a brother, older and wiser, or younger and cheerful. Someone who cared and wanted to hear from me, who would call back if he missed my phonecall. Again, I can only wonder what it would be like to know such a person.

What is it like? And as I look around me at those who have mothers and sisters and brothers in thier lives who are interested in how it is going for, who care enough to write or call each other I feel so incrediblly sad and angry. I am grateful for a Dad who cares and a step mum who is there but today I need a mother.

Flesh and blood who can wrap her arms around me and say; "It will be okay. I love you. "

If only I could feel Mary's arms around me as she is the only mother I have, but today - I really want a human being that I can love and talk to and hear her voice, low, gentle and caring.

But for what ever reason - this is not God's walk for me and today -I am rebelious and angry with God for this lonely walk. I can only pray that today will pass and tomorrow will be better and ask any of you who happen to pass by to pray for me to.

I am sorry for such a depressing post - but, if you have been blessed with a loving family - use it to inspire you to call your sister, your brother or your parents and tell them you love them.

In the meantime - I will continue to try and be the mother - I wish I had. Read more!