Thursday, January 21, 2010

A One Minute Day

I'm having a bad day, You know one of those ones when you really feel sorry for yourself. And unhappy with yourself. A day when everyone else seems a hundred times better than you. A better mum. A better homescooling parent. Better organized...

One of those kinds of days when you know if that darn dog whines one more time - you. will. kill. him. Just absolutely murdilize him because your nerves are thread bare - at best. Any argument between the kids causes the same reaction as nails on a chalkboard and you physically wince and pray, pray, pray for God's graces not to lose it. That kind of day... and its raining outside. So even the weather seems to be feeling like me - dreary.

What do you do on that kind of day? How do you get yourself out of that kind of funk? I have to get through the day ONE MINUTE at a time. I can't let myself think too far ahead. I have to pick a job to focus on and pray, pray, pray. "Jesus have mercy!" Jesus give me the grace to keep it together for another minute. Just one minute Jesus!" Sometimes I sit down and write... and write myself out of my depression. But some days even that is not enough and as soon as I stand up from my desk the walls close in again and I feel the stress rapidly rising. Sometimes my husband can talk me out of this mood, sometimes one of my good friends is the saviour of the moment.

And some days its just me and Jesus - all day. One minute at a time I am begging Him to help me. I think that is what today is going to be; a one minute at time with Jesus day. And those days really bring home to me the meaning of the quote that it is in 'being weak that we are strong' because it is in my weakness that Christ gives me the strength to go on. Read more!