Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Facing Fears

For me there is nothing more difficult that having to call a stranger to plead for an extension for a bill that is over due. I am not sure which is the most difficult part of the exercise, confessing to a stranger that I can not pay this bill, or fearing the possible negative answer. So - I play ostrich. I wait until the last possible moment, which has sometimes lead to the power being turned off.

Today was the 24th and the date of the 25th was playing around in my brain as the last possible date to pay the now past due utilities bill. If my utilities were turned off in this case it would mean no water, no electricity and no heat… a most unpleasant event to be avoided at all costs. More unpleasant that a phone call to a stranger. So we prayed our chaplet at 3 pm and I changed my request from the past few days from please help us pay the bill to ‘Please let the person in charge of my account give us an extension‘.

Then I screwed up my courage, drew a deeeeep breath and dialed the number, listened carefully as options had changed and then selected “2” to punch as that took me to a clerk who would assist me in making credit arrangements and then help my breath.

The phone rang and I was connected almost immediately. A good thing as I was starting to turn purple from holding my breath. A pleasant voice informed me that my phone was breaking up and could I please repeat what I had just said. I tried again, and added that it had been a difficult month and the bill was unusually large…

The nice lady on the other side of the wire paused for a moment as she perused my account and then nicely explained that it seemed we had a water leak somewhere and hence the 200 dollar increase in the bill and would November 3rd work as an extension.

I tried not to gasp my relief too loudly as I thanked her profusely for the extension and accepted her wishes that I have a blessed day. And then I hung up and thanked God. I thanked Him for the courage that He had given me to face my fears. I thanked Him for the extension we have been blessed with. And I thanked Him for the peace I feel despite the fact that I really do not understand why he is answering our prayers for help paying our bills in this way.

But as I wrote earlier, like Emma I want to turn the page and see what is next before it is time. I want to KNOW NOW and I want to know WHY? But I have to accept that I am not the author of my book, just the principle character. As such, I must be patient and wait for the Lord to reveal the answers to the deep mysteries that my family and I currently face.

And now I have another challenge - a leak. A rather expensive leak. Prayers please?
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