Thursday, August 03, 2006

Do you ever...

...wish for a moment of peace and quiet. Do you ever mutter aloud "Oh My goodness I wish (child/baby's name) would just STOP crying. I would give anything for him/her to stop whinning at me!"

Because of the tremdous echo in our new home I have of late been making these very lamentations and immeadiatly felt guilty as I wondered what would it be like to suddenly not be able to ever hear her or him again because of some tragedy. Idealy in those moments I really should go and hug that child but typically I push the guilt feelings down and keep on with the chore I am trying to finish.

However, with the recent tragedy of one Catholic family losing their child and now a posting that I came across on and my own daughter's recent scare of a possible brain tumor I am trying to listen more to those gut feelings. Last night I thought I would go crazy while Elsa nursed hour after hour, often waking with a start as if in pain or afraid. My husband was away on a business trip and so I was alone with this very fussy child. I was so tired especially as I am recovering from a bout of flu and I felt annoyed by this intrusion to my much needed rest.

But then I thought about how at my age (44) this beautiful baby is most likely my last - when will I ever have this opportunity again to be so needed and wanted. Implicitly! So I laid there and gently smoothed her brow while listening to her soft breathing, almost too soft to be audible. And then when the sun was just beginning to soften the darkness she fell into a deep sleep, her body finally relaxed and peacefully. I felt such relief and stretched my cramped limbs and rolled over ready to join her in her blissful sleep. But before I could completly relax there was a quiet knock and Elsa's 3 year old sister joined us in my giant king sized bed.

I groaned and hoped fruitlessly that she would just join Elsa in her deep slumber without yet asking for her customary morning baba. However it was not to be and within moments I was treading down the stairs where I searched silently for the bottle, the juice and the filtered water needed to make this ritual complete. Then I trudged back up the stairs and handed Emma her "baba" and listened to her contented swallowing and waited for her to pass me the empty bottle, the final step of her morning routine. Tonight as I read this post My Story that had been linked to from the yahoo group mentioned above I feel even more gratitude f rall of my wonderful children. I feel even more blessed than before that my 23 year old daughter's tumor was just a burst blood vessel caused by a huge mirgraine.

I need to remember to be grateful for every little interuption by one of my children because it means they are here and able to interrupt me! Thank you Jesus for the sleepless night I had last night and thank you for the little angel who interrupted it so many times. Thank you! Read more!

Considering getting your teen a cell phone...

Are you, like many parents condsidering getting your child a cell phone so you can be in touch with them when they are at a local baseball game or walking to piano lessons? You might want to reconsider this idea. Perhaps a pager is a better idea. I don't know if any have GPS capabilities - if you want to be able to track a teenager who has, heaven forbid, gone missing. I also don't know if a pager is any assistance if a child has need for 911 service but when you read the aricle I have linked to below - you will want to learn more about what various means we might, as parents, want to use to stay in touch with our teenagers beside cell phones. Anyone who has alternative suggestions or experience with this please share with us.

Porn and your cell phone... Read more!


Nay, enslaved to perfection. That is what I am. And it gives me so much grief. And worse, I have realized this addiction causes me to sin terribly. When I strive for perfection beyond reason and to the point that I cause pain to other members of the family by being irritable and grouchy to those I love - simply because my house is not perfect or because I am not meeting goals I have made for myself, then I am committing the most grievous sin of all, I am breaking the First Commandment.

"I am the LORD your God (who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery) Thou shalt have no other gods before Me... .."

If I allow the seeking of perfection, and artificial perfection at that, to injure those I love than I am indeed putting my goals ahead of God, who commands me to love my neighbour as I love myself; I am being most disobedient to my Heavenly Father.

Does the condition of my house matter more to God than my spiritual state, or how my lack of charity towards my children leads them to sin? For I know that when I am cross and speak in a gruff manner to one of my children or answer them with sarcasm that they in turn inevitably do the same to one another.

And when I do this to one of them, I also do this to Christ, my brother.

This is just not acceptable and I who have been seeking a cross to offer up have just found one. My lack of perfection. I have been wanting something to offer up as a works during the day and instead of offering up a clean room to God, I will instead offer up the un-swept pile by the front door, the mounds of boxes yet unpacked. I will offer up a story read to my child when I really want to attack those boxes of books and set them tidily on the shelves now finally set up. In this way, together with God, I will achieve perfection. Hopefully it will be the perfection of my soul, rather than of my house. Read more!