The silence reached out and woke me from my deep sleep and weird dreams. I lay there in the quiet predawn light, waiting for the weight from my limbs to lift. I squinted at the alarm clock trying to see the tiny fuzzy red lines and what numbers they were currently forming. It was already 4 minutes to 6, or if you prefer 5:56 am. If I am trying to convince myself I have oodles of time before I need to get myself and my brood up, then I tell myself it is 5:56. If I am being honest about how little time I really have, I focus on the fact that it is only four minutes to six and drag myself out of bed.
I lay there feeling Elsa’s warm fuzzy curls against my shoulder. Her warmth drew me deeper into the sheets leading me back to sleep. My husband’s quiet form on the other side of her also made me want to rejoin the world of sleep. I was surrounded by the sound of sleep. Camped on the floor were two midnight guests who had dragged in pillows and blankets sometime during the night. I sat up and peered at them.
My whole body called back to the comfy mattress and fluffy pillow, the hollow in it still formed and beckoning me to return to it . Oh, such a dilemma. To allow myself to drift back to sleep or raise myself and my entire clan so we could attend the 7 am Mass that is only 30 minutes away? Perfect timing for us. It is easier to get to this seven am Mass than the 10:30 Sunday Mass. When I can win the battle, that is.
Once up all we need do is dress ourselves and stumble to the van. No breakfast, no time to kill that is all too suddenly gone with everyone in a last minute tizzy. We are not even awake long enough to start feeling hungry until Mass is almost over.
What to do? It was going to be such a busy day… I had a list a mile long of to dos. Really, did I have time to drive 30 minutes to Mass and then back…
But then I wondered if, with such a long list of important items to complete, could I really afford NOT to go to Mass? Who, if not our Lord, could give me the energy and strength to accomplish all I have to?
If I printed the list of all I actually accomplished today – you would be tempted to think I was lying. But you would know how I did it. All the Glory be to God! And now… I think I just might go see if that little hollow in my pillow is still there and, if it is, I think I will fill it.
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