Monday, April 03, 2006

As easy as that...

When we loaded up the van to head out and buy our groceries it was pouring, with the sky very dark and lightening flickering across it. The radio crackled and I adjusted my speed to about 10 miles less than the posted speed. As I crossed two accidents I realized I had been wise to do this.

Evently I got the majority of the errands out of the way and we pulled up to Walmart - last stop on the list. By now the sun was smiling hotly on us and the puddles were begining to steam. We grabbed a cart and loaded baby and toddler into it. Elsa balanced precariously for a while in the back of the cart and then held her arms out to Gabriela, who relented and scooped her up. Emma remained in the front and watched with delight as the cart began to fill up. However, some of her noted favourites were not among the items being dropped in.

"Mummy," she asked. "Tan we buy tum ice cweam?"

"No honey", I answered absently as my eyes searched the shelves for the next item on my list. Bethany quietly helped me look while Gabriela continued to grapple with the cute but heavy weight in her arms. Elsa was trying to grab anything and everything.

"Oh - but whyyyy not?"

"Because I don't have money for that today."

Emma tried again. "Well, Mummy, tan we buy tum pop?" (Soda for those of you in Rio Linda!)

"No honey", was my sympathetic but duplicated answer.

"Oh, but whyyy?"

"Hmmm honey? - Oh, because I don't have money for pop today."

"Oh!" She was quiet for a moment, and then she broke in on my thoughts again.

"Well, I will BUY you tum monies then, Mummy."

Ha - problem solved. No money, so I will just buy you some. Yet as amusing as it was - the very simplicity of her faith that a problem could so easily be solved reminded me of one of Jesus' most famous teachings: that only with the faith, or eyes, of a child could we understand and enter the Kingdom of God.

"I tell you the truth. If anyone does not believe in the kingdom of God like a child, he will never go in." Mark 10: 15
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Jesus, help me...

Jesus, today help me to see my talents, and not to judge my interior life to another’s exterior. I can not know that person’s interior struggles or the imperfections they work hard to hide, just as I strive to hide mine.

Instead, help me embrace my imperfections and accept them for the challenge they are; of growing closer to you as you support me. Do not let me fall into the pit of despair because I am flawed. Instead, grant me the graces to carry the cross that you have loving carved for ME.

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