Thursday, January 21, 2010

A One Minute Day

I'm having a bad day, You know one of those ones when you really feel sorry for yourself. And unhappy with yourself. A day when everyone else seems a hundred times better than you. A better mum. A better homescooling parent. Better organized...

One of those kinds of days when you know if that darn dog whines one more time - you. will. kill. him. Just absolutely murdilize him because your nerves are thread bare - at best. Any argument between the kids causes the same reaction as nails on a chalkboard and you physically wince and pray, pray, pray for God's graces not to lose it. That kind of day... and its raining outside. So even the weather seems to be feeling like me - dreary.

What do you do on that kind of day? How do you get yourself out of that kind of funk? I have to get through the day ONE MINUTE at a time. I can't let myself think too far ahead. I have to pick a job to focus on and pray, pray, pray. "Jesus have mercy!" Jesus give me the grace to keep it together for another minute. Just one minute Jesus!" Sometimes I sit down and write... and write myself out of my depression. But some days even that is not enough and as soon as I stand up from my desk the walls close in again and I feel the stress rapidly rising. Sometimes my husband can talk me out of this mood, sometimes one of my good friends is the saviour of the moment.

And some days its just me and Jesus - all day. One minute at a time I am begging Him to help me. I think that is what today is going to be; a one minute at time with Jesus day. And those days really bring home to me the meaning of the quote that it is in 'being weak that we are strong' because it is in my weakness that Christ gives me the strength to go on.

6 comments:

Soutenus said...

Oh WOW . . . .I am going to try this. Thank you thank you thank you.

Jennie C. said...

I figure we all just need a break on days like that, and we just pack up and go on a "field trip". :-) The change of scenery does us all a world of good.

Jo Flemings said...

You are so not alone!

mum2twelve said...

Your welcome Soutenus - I'm glad if even just one person benefits from my days like that. I actually managed to take a nap - first time in weeks and weeks and I badly needed it. (Teething baby up many hours of the night for many nights!)

Jennie - sometimes I have done that too, esp when we are all crawling the walls. But then there are days when I am just so depleted that a field trip isn't going to fix it. And then I have to just ask God to carry me through it all! :)

Casey said...

I call those my "chicken soup days" because there was a day when we were all sick with the flu and I in my fever went to the store and bought everything to make chicken soup and then fell asleep and had put the noodles in too soon and burnt everything. So I went back to the store, and again I ruined the soup, and the third time I finally was able to make it but by that time everyone was throwing up and no one could eat any. One of those terrible horrible no good very bad days.
I bake when I have bad days like that. Something about mixing stuff and pulling out warm banana muffins or yummy chocolate chip cookies that makes me feel temporarily better, and I've noticed that if I let the kids test the yummy treats they cooperate and stop whacking at each other with random toys for a few moments. :)

I so hope tomorrow is better.

law34 said...

I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one who has days like this!! I have 7 children, and many a day I have spent praying, praying for focus, praying for just one minutes silence, praying for continued sanity!