Dear Guardian Angel...

Dear Guardian Angel!

Guess what? My brother just turned six and we had a big party for him. This girl, that everyone runs to and screams in delight to see her, came again. Every time she comes they run at her yelling JEENNNY! They say she is my big sister but I just think she is crazy - what do you think G.A.? (Do you mind my calling you G.A.? Guardian is so long and hard to say!) She always insists I give her kisses and she squeezes me lots and lots. It is kind of fun but I don’t want her to know I think that. So I run and hide from her when she comes.

Anyway - she brought this huge green cake that had tractors and stuff all over it and I wanted to taste it so badly but every time I would manage to scale those huge wooden things they call chairs someone would one along and scope me off saying “Oh oh - you might fall, better stay off of those chairs“. Don’t they know that I have you, G.A. to protect me? Sometimes I thing grown ups are so silly. Besides why do they have these huge things by the table if you aren’t allowed to use them to see what’s on the table. I LOVE sitting on the table. First I can see around the room better and second there are always tasty treats on it - my favorites are the crayons. I can’t decide which colour tastes best so I just keeping biting them all. I wish you would smack my big brothers and sisters though with your wings when they scoop me off the table and put me back on the ground. Or worse when they put me in that big white jail. They even stick their fingers in my mouth and scratch all the crayons out. I would think you would smack them since its your job to keep me safe and I feel perfectly safe on the table! By the way G.A. do you have any idea why my family likes it when I draw beautiful pictures on the paper but not when I draw them in the books or on the table? I mean - the colours are all the same no matter where I use them so why do they like them on the blank paper so much?

Anyway - we finally got to have some of that green cake and I have to tell you - as much as I love crayons the cake was better. I will have to look for a green crayon in that shade and see if it tastes like that.

I love to be the center of attention and I have found a great way to get everyone’s attention just before we eat. I have noticed that before we eat, everyone stops and they all say the same words together. Every single one of them. Emma who is still 3 G.A., even tries to say them and she puts her hands together too when she is saying these words. Everyone smiles at her when she does that, so I have started putting my hands together also. Now everyone smiles at me too. Aren’t I just so clever?

I love you G.A. Good night!

Elsa Read more!

a blogger moment

Emma, had a few dolls spread about her and she was struggling with the dress on one of them when Elsa, happened upon her. Now, for Elsa only being fifteen months old, Emma at the ripe old age of three and a half is the apple of her eye. If Emma finds it entertaining - well it just must be the cat's meow.

So Elsa squatted down beside her and began to ask for a doll and a share in the play in the fashion parade that was occuring. Not yet able to speak, we have taught Elsa to open and close her hands while also saying mum mum mum!

Emma, who often passes over whatever she is playing with to Elsa at her first request, continued this time to play with her doll, and in a very grown up tone of voice answered Elsa;

"No mum mum mum's today Elta. I'm paying by myself right now." Read more!

Do you ever...

...wish for a moment of peace and quiet. Do you ever mutter aloud "Oh My goodness I wish (child/baby's name) would just STOP crying. I would give anything for him/her to stop whinning at me!"

Because of the tremdous echo in our new home I have of late been making these very lamentations and immeadiatly felt guilty as I wondered what would it be like to suddenly not be able to ever hear her or him again because of some tragedy. Idealy in those moments I really should go and hug that child but typically I push the guilt feelings down and keep on with the chore I am trying to finish.

However, with the recent tragedy of one Catholic family losing their child and now a posting that I came across on Catholic_Homeschool_SAHMoms@yahoogroups.com and my own daughter's recent scare of a possible brain tumor I am trying to listen more to those gut feelings. Last night I thought I would go crazy while Elsa nursed hour after hour, often waking with a start as if in pain or afraid. My husband was away on a business trip and so I was alone with this very fussy child. I was so tired especially as I am recovering from a bout of flu and I felt annoyed by this intrusion to my much needed rest.

But then I thought about how at my age (44) this beautiful baby is most likely my last - when will I ever have this opportunity again to be so needed and wanted. Implicitly! So I laid there and gently smoothed her brow while listening to her soft breathing, almost too soft to be audible. And then when the sun was just beginning to soften the darkness she fell into a deep sleep, her body finally relaxed and peacefully. I felt such relief and stretched my cramped limbs and rolled over ready to join her in her blissful sleep. But before I could completly relax there was a quiet knock and Elsa's 3 year old sister joined us in my giant king sized bed.

I groaned and hoped fruitlessly that she would just join Elsa in her deep slumber without yet asking for her customary morning baba. However it was not to be and within moments I was treading down the stairs where I searched silently for the bottle, the juice and the filtered water needed to make this ritual complete. Then I trudged back up the stairs and handed Emma her "baba" and listened to her contented swallowing and waited for her to pass me the empty bottle, the final step of her morning routine. Tonight as I read this post My Story that had been linked to from the yahoo group mentioned above I feel even more gratitude f rall of my wonderful children. I feel even more blessed than before that my 23 year old daughter's tumor was just a burst blood vessel caused by a huge mirgraine.

I need to remember to be grateful for every little interuption by one of my children because it means they are here and able to interrupt me! Thank you Jesus for the sleepless night I had last night and thank you for the little angel who interrupted it so many times. Thank you! Read more!

Considering getting your teen a cell phone...

Are you, like many parents condsidering getting your child a cell phone so you can be in touch with them when they are at a local baseball game or walking to piano lessons? You might want to reconsider this idea. Perhaps a pager is a better idea. I don't know if any have GPS capabilities - if you want to be able to track a teenager who has, heaven forbid, gone missing. I also don't know if a pager is any assistance if a child has need for 911 service but when you read the aricle I have linked to below - you will want to learn more about what various means we might, as parents, want to use to stay in touch with our teenagers beside cell phones. Anyone who has alternative suggestions or experience with this please share with us.

Porn and your cell phone... Read more!

Addicted...

Nay, enslaved to perfection. That is what I am. And it gives me so much grief. And worse, I have realized this addiction causes me to sin terribly. When I strive for perfection beyond reason and to the point that I cause pain to other members of the family by being irritable and grouchy to those I love - simply because my house is not perfect or because I am not meeting goals I have made for myself, then I am committing the most grievous sin of all, I am breaking the First Commandment.

"I am the LORD your God (who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery) Thou shalt have no other gods before Me... .."

If I allow the seeking of perfection, and artificial perfection at that, to injure those I love than I am indeed putting my goals ahead of God, who commands me to love my neighbour as I love myself; I am being most disobedient to my Heavenly Father.

Does the condition of my house matter more to God than my spiritual state, or how my lack of charity towards my children leads them to sin? For I know that when I am cross and speak in a gruff manner to one of my children or answer them with sarcasm that they in turn inevitably do the same to one another.

And when I do this to one of them, I also do this to Christ, my brother.

This is just not acceptable and I who have been seeking a cross to offer up have just found one. My lack of perfection. I have been wanting something to offer up as a works during the day and instead of offering up a clean room to God, I will instead offer up the un-swept pile by the front door, the mounds of boxes yet unpacked. I will offer up a story read to my child when I really want to attack those boxes of books and set them tidily on the shelves now finally set up. In this way, together with God, I will achieve perfection. Hopefully it will be the perfection of my soul, rather than of my house. Read more!

Ouch...

I crawled out of bed, my vision blurred with my contacts feeling like they were glued to my eyeballs. I could almost hear my back creaking while I groaned aloud at the effort of standing straight. I gingerly swiveled my head from side to side hoping to lessen the tightness that held it stiff. I felt crumbs crunching under my feet and I groaned again - this time at the painful thought of trying to swish a broom from side to side with the arms that hung heavily at my side. Tears welled up in eyes and I forced them back while also wanting them to just flow - hoping maybe their release would release me from the pain that I was in.

I pulled on the clothes I wore yesterday as I have yet to find all of my clothes, and the shorts I purchased yesterday were still in the van where I had left them. Yesterday was our 26th anniversary and we celebrated it with breakfast at Cracker Barrel followed by ice cream at Maggie Moos later in the day and I topped it off by coming down with the old fashioned flu. As I still had much packing and cleaning to do at the old house I swallowed 2 Excedrins and when those did not do the job I swished down two Advils which kicked in about 30 minutes later. Still I was not much good for anything but I did get a few laundry baskets loaded with clothing and thought about washing them. That’s as far as I got. I thought. Then I thought about sweeping the floors but again that is as far as I got. I thought about it. Still I knew I needed to do something useful but preferably something that did not require movement, not even my eyes wanted to move if not necessary. So I opened up my Vonage account on the internet and changed our phone number to a local number and then sent our oodles of emails announcing the phone and address change.

Several hours later when we pulled up in the drive at the new house yesterday I whispered to my husband; “Please would you scoop Elsa up and take her into the living room so she will not see me come in. “
He looked at me puzzled “Why don’t you want her to see you?”
“Well - I really need to go to the bathroom and I want to get my nightgown on before picking her up because after not seeing me all day she will be devastated if I have to put her down after picking her up. I can’t bare to do that to her. I just want to be able to crawl into bed with her and stay there for the night.”

So once I was all settled someone, I don’t even remember who, brought her to me and she and I cuddled together while she nursed herself to sleep. However I paid for my sins of disappearing from her for the day as she made up for it by waking every hour so as to comfort herself that I was really there and then would nurse herself to sleep again. And while I have acknowledged that my bed is (much) more comfortable than the floor, I must admit I have found new hills and valleys in it that I swear were not there before we moved and these nights I am vaguely aware in my sleep that I am about to roll off my side of the mattress.

When I awoke this morning I was so hoping to be over this ill timed bout of flu. Alas this was not to be, so here I sit, thinking about the floors in this house that need to be swept and the boxes that need to be unpacked and I wonder where are the shelves that we brought with us yesterday. But instead of cleaning and organizing I will have to spend my afternoon doing what I have complained and whined so much about not having enough time to do. Play and read with my little ones. And when it comes down to it - what is more important than that? The floors will eventually get swept and the boxes unpacked and the shelves will get brought into the house all in good time, but more importantly, after having had bit of a hissy fit earlier in the day, I will now model to my children how to gracefully accept the cross I am being asked to bear. Read more!

word to the wise...

Do not think that once your children are adults that your early morning bedside calls will stop. Oh no - the only difference is that instead of asking for a sippee cup, a bottle or help going to the pottie they will want to know if you hooked up to the internet yet and on finding out that you are, will ask for the nearest Cracker Barrel on Highway 74. And of course - they will be calling on their cell instead of from their bedroom.

And now if you don't mind I think I will got back to bed - I have answered all bathroom, bottle and cell calls for the morning and now I am hoping to get a zzzz's in before the coffee finishes brewing. Read more!

Helpful Hint...

Is your mattress old, ragged, maybe even an embarrasment? Been wishing you could afford a new one? Well, I have found a very inexpensive way to renew it. When you are finished with this little trick, your mattress will feel as if it is the softest most luxurious mattress you have ever slept on. You will think you are sleeping on a down filled mattress and only as you drift off to sleep will you remember that just the day before you were whimpering and complaining about how old and uncomfortable this very same mattress was.

The trick? Spend a few nights sleeping on the floor. Worked miracles on my old mattress, or maybe it was my attitude that was adjusted. Read more!

Remember...

...the Advent wreath I could not find last Advent. I found it. Guess where? No, not in the walk in closet. Guess again. Read more!

A word to the wise...

If you do not have a walk in closet and are hankering for one. STOP. Unless you know for certain that you will never, ever be moving again! And if you do have one already - start packing it the day you decide to move. Not on the day that you have given notice. Nor the day you signed the closing papers or better yet - not the week before you need to be moved out. There will not possibly be enough time! Read more!

Are you hungry?

Two weeks ago I was sitting in the back of the church trying to listen to the readings over my daughters quiet chattering in my ear and my tummy suddenly began to grumble. Before I knew it I was so hungry that all I could think about was what I wanted to eat when I left church. While I tried to stop thinking about how hungry I was, I suddenly thought:

"Imagine if I felt this physically hungry for the word of God. Or for a relationship with God. Or for the Eucharist? What would that be like?"

And while I think we are born with this hunger, this desire for a relationship with God it is not quite as physical as an empty tummy growling and gurgling at us, sometimes causing us to almost feel faint. Like those moments when we grow almost desperate to eat something as we wait for the bread to finish baking, the smell issuing from the oven tantalizing us. Imagine if the smell of incense during the Mass had the same affect on our desire to know God.

What would it be like to have such a physical driving need to know, love and serve God?

The only answer I could think of is that it would be so over powering that we could not do anything other than that and while it is our goal to gain Heaven by knowing, loving and serving God we are not all called to such an intense suffering in this manner to get there. This is left to to the Saints. For the rest os us I guess it is more like the cravings for a chocolate bar that we all find ourselves experiencing from time to time. The trick is to recognize them and answer them with prayer time and perhaps a little time studying the bible, rather than an extra hour before the TV.

Still - I can't help but wonder - just what would it be like? It leaves me in awe thinking about it! Read more!

A prayer request and

a prayer of gratitude!

Tonight we drove the 80 some miles between the old home and the new one in a wild storm that is still whipping itself about the house and surrounding areas. At one point the driving rain was making my ability to see through the streaming windshield through the dark night impossible. So I wisely choose to take the next exit off the highway. I dropped Miguel off in front of the gas station door before parking. Then I jumped out of the van into the pelting freezing cold rain and then dashed towards the door. When I got to it, I realized I had not locked the van. I peered back at over my shoulder. A small voice teased me "What idiot would ransack a van in this rain?" to which my other little voice chided "Murphy's law, Christi, Murphy's law."

My shoulders sagged and I jumped back into the rain trying to ignore how the wet gooey sticky feeling of the insoles of my sandles was getting gooier and more wet with every puddle I plowed through. I grabbed open the door and with my finger poised over the automated lock I wondered - do I have the keys? With icy rivers trickling down my neck, as well as into my eyes, I fumbled about searching my pockets for the keys only to realize I had them the... dang things grasped in my freezing fingers. Had it really been broiling hot when we left the house 45 minutes earlier? The van locked, I then raced back to the gas station and joined my son in front of the steaming hot coffee pots. A few minutes later we were back in the van and I quickly turned the a/c off while we sat there waiting to be able to see more than five feet ahead of our van.

Eventually I was able to head back onto the highway and Miguel called his dad on the cell phone. We learned that he and Noah, both in Hugo's 24' truck were now somewhere ahead of us. Hugo suggested we exit the I-85 and take the Business 85 and it would take us straight into town. I followed his advice and of course as we were coming up close to our exit the rain began to pour once more - making it very difficult to see. As Miguel and I searched the side of the road for the exit sign we both happened to notice at the same time that I was no longer on the highway and instead was now heading straight for a wall of stone and mud and better yet - this was not pavement we were on anymore but muddy grass....

We both yelled the exact same epitath of shock and I quickly swerved the steering wheel, convinced that the van was not going to listen but go into the wall anyway. Instantly we were back on the highway without hitting anyone or flipping over. PRAISE GOD!

My legs basically went numb with shock and my hands were shakey but the two of us laughed like fools. Amazing what a rush of adrenalain does to ones state of mind.

I said to Miguel, " Now THAT was a miracle!" to which my 19 year old replied;
"Yeah, that or just really good reflexes!"

I only had a few seconds to bask in that unexpected compliment as he then proceeded to experiment to determine where and how hard he would have hit his head had I not missed the wall....

Tonight after all were in bed, I stoped in front of our Baby Jesus and clasped his tiny hand and raised my eyes to Him in Heaven and thanked Him again for His saving miracle. I thanked him Hugo got home safe with our young son Noah and than Jonathan got home safe and that I had not killed my son and I.

I suspect that part of why we had this mishap is the extreme fatigue I am experiencing. Moving a full time business while also moving a home of 11 people and painting the complete house while waiting for it to be completly re-plumbed while living in it... is well, stressful and very, very tiring. So my prayer request is for a few deep restful nights of sleep. I won't be greedy - just a few would be great! Read more!

BACK ONLINE!!

At last - the new house has been connected to the world and I can once again post. I have a few photos of the progress we have made over the past 10 days or so. Since about the 8th of July we have been living half in one town and half in another. As I said to my daughter who was wondering if we were moved into the new house “that (at least) ALL the bodies are all moved into the new house and we are sitting on the floor and sleeping on air mattresses.”

It is amazing what one can live without! In the new house we have a couple of mattresses, our dining room table, two pots, the coffee maker, the toaster, 2 - 3 outfits each, a mini fridge and a stove. (In fact, until yesterday we did not even have hot water and we had to boil the water to wash the dishes or take a bath and possibly soon I will have a working kitchen sink!) We have a TV and DVD player and our album of DVDs. We have books to read, colouring books and crayons for added entertainment and really not much else. The past day I have I often found myself wondering what else do we really need to bring from the other house, which in truth, is packed solid.

I would love to wax poetic and brilliant about this idea but in truth a solid week plus of painting, scrubbing, chipping and painting some more has left me somewhat less that poetic and brilliant. So since a picture is worth a thousand words, I will close by adding a few thousand words…. Assuming of course that I can find the diaper bag… where the camera is.

PS Dad or Deenie - if either of you is reading this you daughter NEEDS some serious Tetly tea! I have gone to brewing two bags at once! HELP!!!! Read more!

A thought...

Some people will be want to assist the Schmiedicke family with a donation to purchase a new caar for the family and others will not feel this is the right means for them to show their symathy and support.

I have decided that I am going to purchase one or two of Regina's books Angel in the Waters and donate it to a prolife group or home for unwed mothers in memory of Joshua. In my case, I am going to send my copies to Room At the Inn . Read more!

May I ask for prayers again...

There is nothing that tests one's faith more than having a child ill - even if they are an adult. And in this case it is one of my adult children who needs to undergo an MRI, and an MRA and it will be several weeks before we know the results - possibly early August.

Until then we will be hoping and praying for the best results and worrying about the possible worst while we struggle daily to leave it all in God's capable hands.

"Gentle Jesus - healing physician, lay your hands on my child's body and bless this child. If anything is wrong - heal it. Breath on the soul of my child and bless her soul and help her not to worry too much. Hear our prayers and bring us closer to you as we wait for the results of these tests.

Guide the hands of her human physicians and also help them to will see her as a whole person and help them to heal her in whole.

Amen"

I will keep you posted, but I do not expect to have news before early August. Thank you all for your prayers, and also thank to all of you who have congratulated on us our new home. Pictures to post soon - if I can just find my camera - which is in the diaper bag... somewhere! Read more!

A most terrible tragedy has occured to a Catholic family this weekend. Please read the link to Danielle Bean's update on the untimely death of Joshua Michael and how his family is doing.

Families are donating money to buy a new vehicle for the family, please consider donating as well.

Joshua Michael

Please pray for Regina Doman.

Please forgive my terseness but this accident has left me wordless and in agony for the family and especially the mother.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

Christi aka mum2twelve Read more!

Thanking All Prayer Warriors!

My good friend has asked me thank all of you prayer warriors who were praying for her to have her baby. Not only did she come, but she came pretty quickly! Weighing in at a healthy 10 lbs and 3 oz she is a very peaceful and contented baby and both mum and babe are doing very, very well! Thank you one and all very much!

Read more!

What was it I wanted to do?

We had had about three hours of sleep and we were now embarking on the huge task of painting the house, the whole house as I want it completed before we move the furniture in. It is just so much easier to paint an empty house. Still, easier though it may be – it is still a tough job. And very tiring. Especially with so little sleep. Soon I found myself wandering about the house – trying to remember why I had left the living room. ‘What was it I had wanted to do?’, I wondered aloud to myself as I made another pass through the kitchen staring hopefully at the counters, looking for a clue. A third trip through the hallway finally proved successful when my bladder reminded me why it was that I had left the living.

Later in the day it was discovered that we needed some wash buckets, a few rags, a trash bin… so I gathered the keys to the van and headed over to a nearby store. In less than thirty minutes I was pulling back in the drive, purchases completed and ready to head back to work. Hugo was there in the drive getting ready to attack the poison ivy with the bottled solution we had recently purchased. I showed him the shorts I had bought him for just 6 dollars and we chatted for a minute. I then headed into the house with a few of the purchases, attended by a long string of children who carried the rest my cleaning supplies. The screen door swung behind me and dumped everything on the counters. I thought of something I needed to ask Hugo and proceeded to seek him in the living room where he had been painted the past day and a half. He wasn’t there. Hmmm, I wondered where is he? I searched the whole house to no avail so I shrugged my shoulders and went back to the kitchen to start cleaning. At that moment Hugo walked through the back door.

“Oh there you are!” I exclaimed. I’ve been looking for you to ask you something, what were you doing outside?”

My husband stared at me for a second and said; “Ah, I was spraying the poison ivy, remember?”

No – I did not, nor could I remember what I wanted to ask him.

Clearly I do not function well on only three hours of sleep.

(Before and after pictures to follow - can't wait to share!") Read more!

The New House...

Read more!

Sweet Summer Cold

Ah, sweet summer cold – how I love you. First you tickle my nose and then slowly you travel down to my throat. The pounding rhythm that you create in my head is indescribable. My eyes begin to glow a fashionable red, matching my nose and my normally low voice becomes even lower and horase.

You defy zinc, nasal spray and vitamin c and linger on, unwelcome and persistent.

I swear that you are able to leap through my fingers and into the keyboard and travel through the internet to my good friends much like a computer virus, as how else does one explain how friends, healthy one day and miles away, yet are enjoying your company the next.

Sweet summer cold, who will you target next? Read more!