Monday, October 13, 2008

Why is it?

Why is it that we only tend to focus on the negative? I know there are a few rare maniacs that actually manage to view their day in a positive light and to see all the great accomplishments and positive goals that they achieved - in the positive manner that they should.

Then there are the miserly souls like me - and I say miserly in that I am so short of praise for myself that I feel quite miserly.

At the end of the day I go to bed worrying about all I did not get done. The positive affirmations I missed passing out - forgetting the ones that I did gush on kids. The praise I heaped on school work struggled over and completed, the chores well done, as well the one done without being reminded to do it.

I fret over the hot spots that are rapidly growing out of control and beginning to smoke instead of thinking about how well our new chore schedule is actually working.

I worry that we had to move back a level or two in grammar and moan to myself that I will have to attack the spelling program this summer instead of now - when I should be happy that this is, in truth, the most organized and successful semester we have had in years.

I refuse to forgive myself the slow days when my back forces me to go at a speed well under than the fast one I want to zoom along at. I criticize my weakness at having two cookies instead of celebrating the positive effects I am seeing at drinking more water in a regular basis.

It is a very good thing that it will be God who judges me on the last day and not myself, as I would never have a chance of heaven - if that were the case. Thankfully God is much more merciful than I am. (And even as I write this - I think 'Oh boy - The faults He will point out to me that I have missed!')


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