What not to buy your wife for Mother's Day...

Here are the five worst gifts you could buy your wife for Mother's Day and possibly end up on the couch for the night!

1) The Hot Mom's Handbook by Denay. Do not purchase (or even suggest to your wife that she should purchase) this book. However mums - feel free to share this little gem with each other. But men, trust me, while possibly every mum will love this book - don't BUY IT for her. It will only lead to one question and one question only.... "Excuse me - are you trying to tell me that I am NOT hot?"

2) Hot Moma: How to have a babe and be a babe by Salmansohn. If your wife is pregnant - again this is NOT a book for Mother's Day or any day. Leave this book for her girl friend to suggest. Unless, that is, you happen to have a special ardor for the living room couch...

3) Don't even think about excercise equipment or signing her up at the local gym - I don't care how great a special they are having. If you value your marriage (and maybe your life) you will do well to stay away from the whole excercise idea.

4) Firming cream or otherwise known as Facial Cream. If you are not convinced just ask Dan Bean. He will caution you not even to mention such a thing, never mind buy it.

5) Nothing.... Do not let Mother's day go by without buying her something "because she's not your mum!". If nothing else, buy her card and slip an IOU inside. That IOU could be redeemed for say... washing the dishes for her one evening a week for the next month. Try it and see just how appreciative the mother of your children is for such a nice treat. (Okay, for those with dishwashers - perhaps it would be for tidying the kitchen...)