with a few pics to cheer you up after you read this post.
I am currently in a deep struggle with the Lord. I feel much like a rebellious child struggling to understand what exactly it is that my parent is asking of me.
We prayed and sought direction before making this move to our new home and location. Even our priest, whom we consulted, believed it was the right thing for us to do. Yet, since moving here our lives have been slowly unraveling leaving us questioning if we made the right decision, as well as causing me to question my relationship with God.
I will not burden you with the details, but life has been exceedingly painful and stressful to the point that there are days I can barely get through them. We continue to go to church, to pray and to ask for the graces we need, but I am floating in an abyss of uncertainty that is painful as well as frightening.
I ask you one and all to pray for us. And please pray especially for me.
Some may ask why I would share in this way. Because I believe that I need to share the bad with the good so that others who struggle sometimes and come here for a boost see that I too struggle and it is human to struggle. We, as fragile humans, often compare our insides with others' outsides. So I am sharing a little of my inside that is not so pretty.
Now for some fun pictures to help balance this bit of a downer of a post...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
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8 comments:
You and your family will be in my prayers.
It will get better. Our 'dream home' hasn't turned out as well as we had hoped either, but I am sure things will improve (one day....). Just hang on and wait.
I'm praying for you, my dear girl!!!!
I know how it is... and we don't want to hear that "we are never given more than we can bear" but this time it seems tooooo much...
Hang in there! You have us all to help you with our prayers....
right folks ??!!
That's right Dory!!
Dear friend:
We Quakers feel that it is a greater act of kindness to ask for help than give it. We all love to hold out a hand of comfort to another, the hard part is to say, "I hurt, pray for me, pray with me, help." And... thee has a talent for falling back on thy gifts, thy joys ... so, no need to worry if anyone is put off by thy sharing the pain with the joy, anyone who IS has issues far greater than thine!!!
Often a move does not so much solve problems but rather gives us a new set of challenges, hopefully solving those problems gives us better results, bigger home, better investment security ... but, I think we do need to be open to new directions, new roads. One of the things we Quakers share with Catholics is an appreciation of a good pause in the week, a real time of rest, to rest the mind and soul and wait on a little advice from God. Now, with a huge tumble of kids, this is something that takes a little planning and thought by itself, but, I find in the hours of silent worship we Friends do as a matter of course, that still small voice within surprises me, often. Movement and rest... I think God's advice towards Sabbath is a great kindness, a wonderful reminder to stop and listen deeply, and sometimes when nothing is whispered in our hearts, the message is ... rest.
We sometimes have directed worship, considering a concern, not looking for a plan, but just ... it is time to sit and wait on the Lord on this. Can the older kids, watch the little ones at times, so that thee and Hugo can sit together, not to discuss the challenges in the new home, but just to clear your minds, and open your hearts to God's direction? We begin by concentrating on how we are sitting, the feel of being ... feeling the air in our lungs, listening to our heart beats ... and when everything we worry about fades back, and thee is just aware of the small things around thee, answers sometimes come. Sharing that with another who thee loves does help ...
Praying for thee and thine, and hold you all dearly in the light
lor
You can count on my prayers. It seems our lives are in the exact same spot these days. I've always been a bit of a rebel, esp when it comes to my relationship with Christ. Keep in touch via email! We can support each other through this dark time...
Jen (nestled-in-the-woods.blogspot.com)jhigdon73199@hotmail.com
I'll be keeping you in my prayers. It sounds like you're still adjusting to being in a new environment.
Enjoy your blog!
Go ahead and burden us. We're praying for you. Struggles abound in these parts as well. But we muddle along, somehow.
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