BIG NEWS!!!

I have some awesome stupendous news to announce! (No - I am not going to have to change my blog name to mum2thirteen, although that would be cool awesome stupendous news too!)

A friend has stepped forward... and offered to help my husband and I build a website for our business, and this weekend we got together to discuss the needs for it. Thank you every one who has offered suggestions, help and prayers for us. I think I really owe a big thank you to St. Isidore and to Kathy who took the time to find him!

I will let you all know when our business site is up and running and, of course, if I am ever able to get my own site up for my works of fiction... I will post that link too!

Thank you EVERYONE!!!

God IS Good! Read more!

PRO LIFE SEARCH... again!

I posted earlier about a new search site called prolifesearch.com As I mentioned I checked them out, squeezed their link onto my tool bar, but what I did not mention is that I registered with them. In return I received a free e-Book written by Sister Angelica of EWTN, and I get emailed updates on their progress.

Here is the most recent progress report:
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Hi again...to start the weekend off right:

We just passed $9,000 in donations!! God Bless You All.

The following donations were made this week:

- In name of Katie, Missy, DJ and Janie Patton (to EWTN)
- In honor of Bishop David A. Zubik and in memory of Susan Zubik (to Population Research Institute)
- In honor of Pope John Paul the Great (to Human Life Alliance)
- In memory of Elizabeth J. Harvey (to Project Rachel)

Thanks again for making these donations possible.

Yours in Christ,

Jack and Joe
ProLifeSearch.com

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Please be sure to spread the word and get as many people as possible using this search site. I don't call it a search negine as it is hosted by google but pehaps I would be more correct to call it an engine. At any rate - lets all help make this a success!

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Out my window...

Photo Credit: Benjamin Teodoro, age nine
Occaision ~ Abuelo's Memorial Dinner

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What a Difference Nine Months can Make...

Ultrasound of a baby at five weeks gestation.
(Not our ultrasound as my scanner is offline, will replace later with our own ultrasound)

Elsa Marie Bernadette, nine months since conception - April 23 2005

Nine months since birth, 18 months old!

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Over the weeks as I have been watching some of my younger children gain new skills, and become more proficient in others, my thoughts have again been drawn to God and my relationship with Him, and the lack thereof that I have suffered through at times in my life.

As Elsa struggled with learning how to crawl I was drawn to the memories of my first baby, also a daughter, learning to crawl and I was struck by the difference in my feelings about the two achievements. Amanda actually learned to stand before she learned to crawl and I was so amazed that I grabbed my camera and posed her again, so I could photograph it for posterity – my first baby – already standing. I was such a proud mama!

Now, as I watch Elsa crawl away from me towards a toy – my pride is mixed with a tinge of sadness as I now know that this progression is also the first steps to independence. Soon she will be a toddler and then a child and before I know it she will be packing her bags and leaving for college and adventures unknown.

My little tinge of sadness as I watched Elsa crawl away made me wonder how God feels when we first start to toddle away from Him. It caused me to realize how different, in this way, our relationship with Him is from us with our children despite the frequent comparison of God as Father that is made with us human parents.

As an earthly mother, it is my job to raise my child to independence, but God is actually continually calling me back to Him and telling me to never forget that I am dependent on Him for everything. He will ‘allow’ (not make) evil to fall my way – so that I might find good out of it – namely, my need for Him.

These past four years, I have been continuously reminded of this through our severe needs and trials. Even when we came to the very precipice of despair over the fear of losing everything, God came through, showing us over and over that we only needed to lean on Him and all would be okay. Not easy, not necessarily fun – but okay. We began to be able to still feel peace – even when three months behind in the rent.

I remember how as a child, walking to school I would always chat with Jesus, my constant companion since I had been introduced to him when I was 9 by the Gideon Society who had brought New Testaments to school. I shared with him my problems, especially my troubled relationship with my mum. I told him when I was happy, when I was worried and especially when I was angry. That ten minute walk to school was very fruitful. I would arrive at school, refreshed and my problems forgotten until I returned home in the afternoon. Then I became a teenager and my attention was drawn elsewhere. I still had one eye on God, but no longer both on Him, and it made a difference.

Because my parents did not have a strong faith life at that time, I was not taught that as my dependence on them lessened, my dependence on God needed to grow and not decrease. Had I been taught this most valuable lesson – I might have been spared much heart ache. It is a lesson I have resolved to share with my children. I want, as my husband and I ultimately rejoice in the maturation and development of our children, that God is not saddened by it but instead is able to celebrate a corresponding dependence on Him.

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Another Post - three in one day?

Well - a reader has asked me if I would post this. She is one of Danielle Bean's readers and, like me, was impressed with Danielle's post on PROLIFESEARCH.

I have already dropped into my toolbar on my browsers home page. It is wedged right between Goodle and my favourite email site. I have actually started using it. Here is their URL:

http://www.prolifesearch.com/

Apparently when ads are clicked on, or purchases made through the ads on the side of this search site - donations are made to the Prolife cause. What an easy way to help a very important cause!

Check it out and if you like it - make sure to add it to your tool bar! And now I need to stop pulling a Sister Pat and stop distracting myself with my email and posting, and get some actual work done. Now that I have vacumed the living room, washed the dishes, fed the baby, run the washer and dryer a few times, exchanged Cinderella for Veggie Tales - it is time to start printing shipping labels in beween reading tutorials on Java Script and HTML!

Thank you everyone who has been praying. I can feel the difference! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
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St Isidore - I ask for your heavenly intercession for this important project that I am working on so as to assist our famliy make a much needed transition in hopes that we can enjoy a much less stressful life! Read more!

St Isidore

Thank you to Cathy who left this following comment in answer to my question as to whether there was a Patron Saint of Websites?!

"Cathy said...

I googled "patron saint Internet" and found St. Isidore

http://www.scborromeo.org/saints/isidores.htm

Here is part of what it said:
So, how does Saint Isidore of Seville become the patron saint for the Internet? The Observation Service for Internet, who drew it's mission from the Pontifical Council for Social Communications, researched the Internet and related technologies to select a patron saint that best reflects the concerns and ideals of computer designers, programmers and users. The saint chosen by the Observation Service for Internet was Saint Isidore. "The saint who wrote the well-known 'Etymologies' (a type of dictionary), gave his work a structure akin to that of the database. He began a system of thought known today as 'flashes;' it is very modern, notwithstanding the fact it was discovered in the sixth century. Saint Isidore accomplished his work with great coherence: it is complete and its features are complementary in themselves."

And thanks again Cathy - I was in too much of a tizzy to think of something as simple as googling!

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Now THIS is my kind of education about web building...

... simple and to the point!

"Quick and Easy Learning" says w3schools!

This is followed by the statement:

"Because time is valuable, we deliver quick and easy learning.

At W3Schools, you can study everything you need to learn, in an accessible and handy format."

They finish with:

"Never increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything" --- William of Ockham (1285-1349)"

Better yet - these tutorials are FREE! Thank you Matt for suggesting them.

Armed with a cup tea to my right and a sleeping baby on my left shoulder, Cinderella playing in the background as children watch a movie instead of doing their math, I am ready to dive into the world of explanations of HTML, XML forms and why I need to back up and read about HTML forms before I can study up XML forms...

Now all of this is in hopes that these tutorials will edify for me what the buttons on my web building program can do.

Wish me luck, or better yet - say a prayer. Anyone acquainted with a patron saint for website builders? Read more!

So simple a child could do it...

I am about to beg, even grovel at the feet of my readers! PLEASE, can anyone help me discover a book that can explain to me the basics of web design in the simple layman’s tongue? And is, preferably, recent enough to acknowledge that Windows XP and Firefox is in existence.

Are there websites, along the same manner, that one would recommend?

You may ask why I make this desperate plea.

It is two fold. First – my husband and I must make the leap from selling strictly on eBay to having our own website and using eBaymore as a means of driving customers to us. The reasons for this are many, but chiefly what we sell on eBay could be sold for five to ten times more than what we get on eBay, if sold on a website.

If we could accomplish this, we would not need to sell the volume that we currently need to sell to just barely keep our heads above the water. We could specialize in certain items and give up the big heavy items we often have to sell along with the smaller merchandise. I wanted to cry when I saw my son, barely 19, with his back hurting so much that a sneeze almost brought him to his knees. He tries not to complain – but it is obvious that even his 6 foot 3 frame is beginning to fatigue under the heavy work he and my husband are forced to do to forge out a living for us. It is not that they, either of them, are afraid of a hard days work, but rather, they are both very worn down by this very hard labour that is required of them all the time. 24/7

We know from research and advice from others in the same business, that this is the direction we need to take. But my husband does not have the time to invest in building a website, and we do not have the money to pay to have one designed. So I am endeavoring to develop a website for our business.

I have downloaded a click and drag program – so simple a child could use it. Obviously I grew up a looong time ago and no longer have a child’s mind as while I have managed to down load a template and drag some buttons into place – I have come to a complete stand still. There are these lovely buttons on the side that will allow me to compress files – but what files do I want to compress? I can click a button and drag a banner out and across the top of my page, but while it was easy make it nice and pretty, I could not discover how to change the type on it that says sample banner… I can click on another button and create a gallery – but where do I put it afterward? There are forms for emails and marquees to insert, but I have no idea how to use either.

Although I have managed to unlock my domain name from the website I parked it in last November, (my biggest accomplishment today after 5 hours of work on this website) I have not felt this stupid since my grade ten algebra class. I may have to lock this domain name down again as it could get snatched by another parking lot if I do not get it settled in with my new hosting company, who will not let me sign in with the password they sent to me use with this 'oh so simple a child can use it' program!

I went to Amazon to search for books only to discover that even second editions were referring to the latest edition of Windows as being Windows 98…

Now, if you recall – I mentioned that there was a two fold reason for trying to do this. It is my great desire to use this sought after new skill of website architecture to also build a website for myself. One where (having freed myself from my husband’s business by building HIS website) I will spend all this new found time on my hands that I will have – to write and write and write. If I have my own website I will have so much more control over it than I have here on blogspot. I will be able to place photos where I want, add buttons here and there to send you, the reader, to comics Anna has drawn or to a children’s story I am writing, or to that gallery I don’t know where to place yet.

Okay - so I won't really have a lot of time to write and write and write. But if we can successfully develope a website, I will have more time which I would use to just be a fulltime homeschooling mum who writes in her spare time, and maybe even makes a little spare change doing it.

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Here is Pope Benedict XVI's first Encyclical . It is called Deus Caritas Est and is about Christian Love.
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What is in a name

Yesterday while I was out, running errands, some enterprising children were investigating the meanings of the names we have chosen for our children.

The most significant discovery made may have been that Emma’s second name Louise means warrior maiden. This could explain a lot of the difficulties between her and Nathaniel (which means gift of God.) I guess he is our warrior’s gift from God for her to harass and tease. Her third name is also very fitting.

Kathleen Celtic little darling

While very much a warrior, Emma is also a little darling!

If you have time to spend and care to unlock some of the mysteries of your child’s behaviour go here and just type part or all of your child’s name in the search box.

You may be surprised just how apt the meaning of your child’s name is. The question is – does the name make the child – or did God lead you to the name? Read more!

Emma's Rampant Imagination!

Emma has an incredible imagination and sometimes I use it against her. Like the other day when I could not get her to put her socks on. Suddenly I wagged my toes and tickled hers with mine. I said in a falsetto voice, talking for my toes:

“Oh Emma’s toes! You look cold. Please cover yourselves up.”

Emma jumped right in and as she wiggled her toes back, she replied in just as falsetto a voice:

“Oh yet! We are cold. Pease cover us up!”

Mission accomplished - the socks went on just fine with no more ado.

But occasionally Emma’s imagination back fires on us.

For instance, the other day when I made silver dollar sized pancakes and Hugo made the mistake of offering Emma some baby pancakes. Her mind was off to the races and so were the babies on her plate. Those “babies” danced and sang to us all through breakfast. Thankfully Emma’s appetite finally took over and she suddenly bit the babies’ heads off and then laughed as she ate them all up – one body part at time.

Then last night, Emma absolutely did not want to eat supper. She was ‘full already’. In truth she was overtired, and as we are weaning her off her baba and only allowing her one at bedtime, she was fairly desperate for bed by 6:30. Supper just was not in her plans.

“Pease mummy, make me a baba! Pease!”

“No Emma – you must at least eat a little first.”

“Mummy, pease I tired! Make me baba. Peeeeease!”

Suddenly I remembered the success of my toes talking to hers. I tickled her tummy, and a little voice called to out to her:

“Emma – this is your tummy. I’m hungry! Please eat the biscuit!”

A smile danced across her face and her eyes lit up.

“Okay!” she said, and with little bites I tempted it into her tummy. But as we came close to the end of the biscuit her eyes suddenly sparkled mischievously, and Emma’s tummy suddenly announced;

“Mummy – Emma’s tummy wants a baba, peeease!

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Father Jonathan

Let me introduce to you a new blog that I found last week. Father Jonathan asked me if I would spread the word and so I am. Father’s blog is posted through Fox News and he is usually on Fox about twice a week, at different times throughout the day, to discuss the ethical and social elements of ordinary news. He does the same in his blog. Here is a link to his post on suffering . Check him out, and if you enjoy his writings be sure to spread the word. It is important to have a Christian spin on all things and to have one available about the news is, I think, especially important.

To read more of Father's posts you can go to Fox News and once there, scroll over Opinion and the option to go to Fox Blogs will appear.
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Please Pray...

... for my friend Ann, who is having surgery today. Please ask Jesus, our heavenly Physician, to place His gentle hands on this mother of five, that she may be healed quickly and be able to return to her motherly duites soon. Guide the hands of her caregivers.

God Bless you Ann! Read more!

A time of need...

I won't bore you with the details, but I will tell you that there are days that I feel that I can not sustain life like this much longer. It is so incredibly difficult and I just want to cry out to the heavens and beg them to help us. I can't stand it at times. And this is one of thoes times. I feel much like a 3 year old in that I just want to throw myself down on the floor and kick my heels and scream at God to STOP and LISTEN to ME and FIX everything. NOW!

There comes a moment every once in a while when I feel as if I am in a trap with the walls closing in. I feel panicked and as if I can not stand it one more minute, nay, not even one more second. But what can I do? I can't just stop breathing. There is nothing to do, but keep plugging on. Hoping and begging that God will soon change things for us. Give us a job, give us a business loan. Just DO something to stop this miserable existence of barely being able to pay our bills, no dental or health care and on and on! The most difficult cross is the heavy burden of feeling that no matter what or how much I do – I feel as though I can never do enough. I know my poor husband is also carrying this same cross. And I never know when this sense of desperation will hit me like a bolt of lightening.

I feel stretched in so many directions as I wait patiently for the graces I need to cope. And while I wait, I make my bed, read to someone who needs my time, make sandwiches for lunch, solve a fraction problem with someone who has forgotten how, sooth an irritated customer, act as referee repeatedly, call Pay Pal to complain about their lousy service, make another meal. And if I can find the mental strength and physical energy - bake a triple batch of chocolate chip cookies for a chocolate fix. Baring that - I search the cupboards for a lost Canadian Crispy Crunch and have it with a cup of tea and hope it is not late enough in the afternoon for the caffeine to cause Elsa trouble falling asleep at bedtime.

Ideally, I should take my favorite prayer, find a quiet spot somewhere in this noisy house and cry on God's shoulder. When this bolt of negative emotion bears down on me – I need Christ to lift me, and carry me until it passes. But sometimes I have not the strength, or even the will to do this. It is at those moments that I turn to my friends and beg their prayers. This is why the church is referred to as the body of Christ and why I turn to you today and ask for your healing prayers. It is amazing sometimes how uplifted one can feel and not know why, only to learn later someone was praying for you.

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Sounds of Silence

Two years ago I met a lovely lady, the same generous person who is currently dedicating her Fridays to teaching Theology to my children. A year ago the friendship began to deepen when we invited her, along with other acquaintances, to join our family on Friday mornings to pray the Rosary. After the Rosary, she would often stay and help with the children or just to sit and chat while enjoying a cup of Canadian tea with us.

On one of those mornings the question of favorite music came up as a topic of discussion and the children had a number of favorite songs and bands to list for her. Then it came her turn to tell us of her favorite music and her answer gave me much to ponder over the following months. She told us that her favorite music was silence as she could better hear God in it. Of course, she added, we often have the radio on or the TV when the children are home, but when I am alone at home, or in the car – I prefer to have silence.

This reminded me of one of my children’s God Mothers. She had been an apostolate at Madonna house at one time and in listening for God’s will in her life was eventually led to the man she was to marry and have a family of five with. She too said that she craved silence and as a mother, her greatest cross was in dealing with the noise that children just naturally generate. (Their family was limited to five due to serious health issues – not the noise level!)

After my friend left that day it did not take me long to forget her comment, but it obviously left a mark on my conscience as on the rare occasions that it is silent here I would find her words rumbling about my head. Especially as I found that more often than not, I would quickly attempt to fill the void. I did this, usually, with talk radio.

I started to ask myself why. Why did I feel this need for noise? Why did I find silence so loud? And empty? Was I trying to avoid being alone with my thoughts? This led me to more questions. One in particular was – how did the constant background noise affect the children. Was their home as peaceful as it could be, especially given we are so many in such a small house. So I began, when I found myself in those uncomfortable moments of silence, to substitute music for the talk radio. Sometimes I chose more lively music such as Jars of Clay and at other times, I opted for the Gregorian Chant.

I noticed that when we did this during chore time, it went more smoothly and cheerfully with many of us often dancing about as we washed dishes, vacuumed and swept. Even I joined in with the dancing. Still, when I went to my room for a break, I would automatically turn on my radio. My excuse was that the sound of hosts talking helped drown out the noise that sifts through the floor and my door. But I began to wonder how true that excuse was. The best answer that I came up with was that it was a habit. Simply a habit.

A week ago I surprised myself when I realized that I had been listening so little to the radio that I no idea what was happening out there in the world. I did not know which politician had recently insulted another, nor sadly did I know if the sole survivor of the first mine disaster had come out of his coma yet. But that was okay – I could always check the internet if I really wanted to know this and truly, I think my children are probably the better for not knowing so much of the news esp. when much of it is so negative. Besides, if we keep dancing as we do our chores, I just might be able to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes again.

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memorial

Last night at about 11:35, the phone rang in the darkness and I struggled to reach over the baby before the ringing woke her, while also trying not to wake her myself. I wondered briefly as I stared at the letters UNKNOWN CALLER flashing on the face of the phone if the culprit for this late night call was perhaps another customer on the West coast, forgetting that because it was 8:30 pm his time, this did not mean it was still 8:30 pm here on the East coast. I clicked the answer button, and heard a male voice just trailing off with my nineteen old son answering; “Un momento “. I then heard his foot steps heavy on the stairs, our door open and saw his shadow begin to pass me a second phone.

Realizing this was likely a call from Argentina, the one we have been expecting and dreading for months, Hugo took the phone instead. It was his brother-in-law David who, after announcing who was calling, said to Hugo:

“Don Erico no es con nostros nada mass.”

Don was a title of respect reserved within the family for only Hugo’s father and was used by much of the community whether talking to, or speaking of him. He was a man who commanded respect and was, if not loved by all, deeply cherished. His loss will be sorely felt, and I suspect his funeral well attended. Sadly Hugo will not be able to return to Argentina for it, and it is in this regard that we grieve most for Hugo while he grieves alone without the comfort and support of his 6 siblings and mother. They will have each other to share the memories and stories of Abuelo and the familiarity of the daily routine without his presence t0 acclimatize them to their loss. Hugo will not.

We did not have the fortune of meeting Abuelo due to the distance and expense of traveling with such a large family. We have spoken to our family in Argentina by phone, exchanged emails lately, as well as letters and photos but we have come to know Abuelo more though Hugo’s memories and stories than by correspondence.

Don Erico Teodoro Luis was the husband of Lidia for over 50 years, the father of 8 children, 7 surviving. He was the grandfather of 29 grandchildren and I am uncertain of how many great grand children. He was a tower of strength and worked hard providing for his family until his very last years. And in those last years, he suffered much, but silently, an example to all. I will be forever sad not to have been able to meet him in person in this life time.

My one comfort that I hope to be able to share with our children is that with his passing on, we can now speak to him all the time, at any time. We may not be able to hear his reply, but we can be assured of his hearing us and praying for us. In this way, he is more present to us now than he was in life. God rest his soul.

Don Erico Teodoro Luis ..... November 8, 1915 - January 30, 2006

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"It MINE!!"

This morning as I was dressing, I overheard Emma and Nathaniel discussing a most important issue. Being three and five, neither read yet.

Emma flourished the ticket stub in front of Nathaniel’s face and in a haughty tone pronounced;

“See, dis is MINE. It tays Emma wight here!” and she pointed at the bold letters of MADAGASCAR on the front.

“Humph, no it doesn’t! Hee – it hays Movie Theater on the back!” and he gleefully pointed to the back of the ticket where it stated Cinematic Theater.

“No, it DOEN”T” retorted Emma. “It MINE!”

After a night in the company of our whole 2000 collection in our bed, I was too tired to deal with such a senseless argument and arbitrarily told Nathaniel that it was hers and please no more fighting.

That command was immediately ignored and as I struggled to dress Emma, the discussion continued. In my weary mind I debated as to whether I might search for another ticket stub for as surely as one from Madagascar lay about used and worn, another must be floating about in a pocket or drawer somewhere. But then clarity struck my sleep deprived brain and I realized the futility of such an action as, without doubt, the sole attraction of this ancient stub was in its singularity. Another similar stub would hold no appeal until one, or the other, showed an interest in it and then the argument would begin anew, with the Madagascar ticket forgotten.

Emma danced a dance of victory before prancing out the door to eat breakfast. Nathaniel was fit to be tied and continued to grumble about his loss to me as I helped him dress. My eyes shot to the drawers beside my bed but no, I reasoned again to myself, another stub was a useless idea. As I made my bed, Nathaniel flopped on the floor in front of his small plastic dressers. Suddenly I heard a sharp excited intake of breath and Nathaniel sat up straight. He happily brandished a second ticket stub in his little hand. That it was not even to Madagascar stood as an excellent testament to my outstanding housekeeping abilities.

While I fluffed the duvet and tossed pillows back, Nathaniel pronounced;

“HEY! I will doe give this to Emma!”

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Something Positive out of Hollywood?

Danielle has posted an extremely interesting link this week and so, once more I am stealing some of (ahem) her Thunder, if you will pardon the pun!

She has written about a 35 minute film A Distant Thunder that has actually been produced in Hollywood. I have previewed the trailor and it is well done, intriguing and draws you in quickly.

Please click on the link above to learn all about it and PLEASE spread the word. It is an incredible film, and I hope to purchase the DVD very soon.

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