An A.P.P. HAS BEEN ISSUED...

...For my brain. The last time it had a clear thought - unknown. It is sorely missed so if anyone has seen it - please direct back towards NC where it will put to good use.

In the meantime I will use this opportunity to apologize for the lack of intelligent, amusing or even any posting these days. It is not for lack of material - simply brain cells. Through out the day amusing and sometimes hilarious things happen that would amuse and delight my readers but once I have time to sit down to type them - my mind is blank, much to my dismay.

Perhaps it is the accumulated stress of the past year and especially of the last weeks. In fact most years I am doing much more to celebrate Advent. However, for now I am focusing on being. Simply being. After all, while having activities to help my children focus on the meaning of Advent is a great goal - if it means that I become so frazzled that I am tense, grumpy and irritable what have we gained?

But there lies beyond all of this calm reason the temptation to succumb to guilt. Guilt that the advent candles are not being lit every night, that I do not have little foot prints cut out and waiting to be gummed to a wall or poster so as to show one's path to the manger as children earn them through good deeds. Nor is the empty manger set up with yarn beside it waiting to be lined in the sweet Jesus' bed, again through good deeds done in silence and disguise.

Instead, we are quietly being together as we sort out the violence we experienced on our own front door step. We are praying for our friend who was shot. We are attending Mass as often we can and offering up our Communion for the healing of our friend as he goes through various operations in order to be put whole, as whole as one can be after such an assault. We are praying for his spiritual needs. We are also learning how hard it is to pray for someone who has harmed someone we care for.

So while I struggle with the guilt of not being busy; baking, cleaning or focusing on Advent activities before Christmas I ask for the prayers I need to gain the graces I need so as to be aware of what my children need while they heal. I pray for the graces to be calm when I do not feel calm. I pray to not feel anxious when, in truth, anxiety is surrounding me like a heavy blanket.

So for us right now, for the next weeks, the best thing my family can do to prepare for the rebirth of the baby Jesus on His birthday is to simply love each other and to be kind to each other - in Christ's name.

And in the meantime if anyone does happen to see my brain, while it vacations somewhere else, tell it to come home - I really need it!