The pressure is on...

December second, the first Sunday is Advent is lying in wait for me - just around the corner. And I am determined to be ready for it. Yesterday I slipped out a couple of times and hit a few stores. In one I loaded up with candles for the Advent Wreath along with sewing materials for my advent tablecloths, and in another I stocked up on items to fill my Advent store that will open its doors come this Sunday.

Store, you ask? Advent store? Mum2twelve has finally succumbed to commercialism, you say. Not quite so. Allow me to elaborate before you lose all faith in me.

Long time readers, as well as family friends, may recall that come Thanksgiving we exchange names in preparation for Christmas and Advent. Throughout Advent the children are "secret angels" to the sibling whose name they have pulled from the basket. In addition to offering up prayers and doing little chores for them in secret, like making a bed, they like to earn little treats for them. So my little shop is ready to open, the buyers and future recipients have all seen the various offerings to be found. All that is left to do is for me to add to each item the numbers of points that must be earned in order to "buy" an item for sibling to whom one is the angel to. Extra chores have been written out with their value, in points, added at the bottom of the jobs description.

The angels are keen to begin and I am dreaming of a well cleaned sparkling home as my Advent Cupboard slowly empties.

Come this Sunday, my job is to have the white material for the base tablecloth washed, dried, sewn and ironed. Then I need to hem the purple sheet that will adorn the white cloth as a runner. Then I have some light weight plastic sheeting to use as a protective cover as my little ones are still messy eaters and given my dryer's terminal illness, I dare not count on it for the daily laundering of tablecloths. Later the plan is to replace the rose pink cloth that was lost in a move so that we can announce Gaudette Sunday by adorning the dining room table with a pink runner over the white cloth on the third Sunday of Advent. Sadly the beautiful St Nicolas tablecloth also disappeared in the same move and has yet to be replaced for use on December 6th, Saint Nicolas Day, and ultimately on Christmas day and the rest of the Christmas Season. In the meantime I hope to find some red material to create a a bright and colorful runner for announcing those special feast days.

This idea of announcing the Liturgical changes in the calender with table cloths or runners was shared at a homeschooling meeting I attended ever so many years ago while still living in Canada. We did this for many years until some of the cloths disappeared and this year I was determined to start this beautiful tradition once more. Now all this is left to purchase is some plasticine (modeling clay) to create holders for the candles for the Advent wreath.

I have a full 34 hours within which to wash, dry and sew the base table cloth and prepare the purple one as well. No worries. None at all. Nope - totally calm, got it all under control. I am definitely prepared, the second of December cannot possibly sneak up on me and catch me of guard. Not this year! Read more!

WRITERS BLOCK...

Despite accidentally sending in my letter of application and portfolio from my rather unprofessional mum2twelve email address I received a fairly quick response to my application...

"Hi Christi,

Thank you for applying to our Expert Tea Blogger position.

Due to the response we've received for this position, we are asking each qualified candidate to remit 2 sample articles for the Tea blog. The topics are to be as follows:

· Sample article 1 – the history of tea with a focus on blended tea

· Sample article 2 – health benefits of tea"

And this was concluded with more details as to what they were looking for. So I have begun my research. Do you have any idea of the sheer number of websites dealing with tea, tea pots, tea parties, Victorian tea parties and on and on? At least there will no end of shortage of material, should I bag this job.

Note the line stating qualified candidate. I am hoping this was not just a form letter emailed to all applicants. It would be nice to think I am actually one of the qualified. And I not just a little cowed by this requested assignment, so I again I ask for everyones' prayers... it will be a loooong night.

Thank you to one and all who have been praying for me so far. I have truly felt them. THANK YOU. Read more!

"God does not call us to be successful, but to be faithful."
Mother Theresa

There is a story behind the reason for posting this quote. Tune in later.

Read more!

looking for material

Sometimes I have no idea what to write about. I look around and everything seems so mundane.

The leaves are falling.
My double kitchen sink is plugged. No matter what my husband and oldest son do - it refuses to drain like a normal sink.
The children are overtired as their young bodies work with the antibiotics to fight off a possible infection of whooping cough.
My dryer is dying a slow and tortuous death.
My mouse is sticky and driving me mad....

And I look around and can not think of a single thing to write about that I think would be inspiring and/or entertaining. Where are the cute things my little ones do and say all the time? What has happened to my enlightening light bulb moments...

And then it happened.

You will not believe what I did... it was a brainless day. And I did a stupid thing. But it is something that my readers will enjoy a laugh at with me.

As you know from the previous post, I applied to a blogging job that will pay a regular monthly salary for 3 - 5 posts a week about.. tea. (I love TEA but I would have applied even if I didn't!) I forwarded the draft of it to my mum2twelve email address so that I could make sure the links I was using to direct the editor to some of my online publications would work after emailing it.

I reminded myself a few times as I edited and worked on the letter until I was happy with it - that I was now working in my mum2twelve email account. I said to myself;
"Don't forget to email it from the clg......s account, Christi!!"

Mum2twelve just does not sound very professional - you know. And MUM2TWELVE... how could a mother of 12... children... have time to write professionally, eh?

Well - I am sure you know by now what I did...

I worked on it, got others to read it, worked some more, read it one last time, gave a sigh of content and clicked... SEND from mum2twelve..... and watched it whoosh out of sight and then slapped my forehead, before banging it on my desk.

"Dummy! Dummy! Dummy!" I groaned while my children stared at me in confused amazement.

"What's the matter?", one of them ventured to ask me.

"Nothing." I groaned. "Nothing!"

But then I thought... 'Well, nothing is without its silver lining - now I have something not so mundane to write about on my blog!' Read more!

Please pray...

... on occasion I have very, very difficult days - spiritually. I humbly ask for all of your prayers as today is just such one of those days.

Please also keep in prayers an application I will submit today for a writing job that would pay regularly.

Bless you all and thank you for your prayers.

Christi aka mum2twelve Read more!

"It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start."
Mother Theresa
Read more!

Seeking prayers...

...for my oldest baby is so very sick - for a funny description of her misery - click here. Read more!

Did you know...

that "although whooping cough can occur at any age, it's most severe in unimmunized children and in infants under 1 year of age (early immunization can usually prevent this serious disease in babies). But more cases have been reported in teens and adults, because their immunity has faded since their original vaccination. That's why the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recently recommended that kids who are 11-18 years old get a booster shot that includes a pertussis vaccine, preferably when they are 11 to 12 years old." (Read the rest of the article HERE.)

Now how would I have become aware of this little known fact, at least little known to ME before this past week??

Last week our oldest daughter Amanda, who lives in Boston, came home for a four day visit. Despite a rather severe cold, she prepared all of Thanksgiving dinner which I was too sick to enjoy as much as usual, but was very happy for regardless. The rest of the family tucked in and enjoyed every morsel. I enjoyed several turkey sandwiches the following two days as Amanda had thoughtfully bought and cooked TWO turkeys to ensure left overs for us to enjoy, even after she had gone. I also ate most of the left over Apple Crisp my second oldest daughter, Jennifer had contributed to the dinner.

Dinner over, followed by two hours of washing dishes on Sunday and it was almost time for Amanda to depart for the airport. Sadly, we all grouped around and hugged her and I said a prayer of protection for her flights back to Boston. To keep tears away from little ones - I kept reminding them that Amanda would be back in just a few weeks for Christmas.

But I digress. My apologies.

A few days later Amanda called to tell us the results of her Doctor's visit for what we all assumed was a bad cold complicated with a sinus infection. Our daughter has somehow picked up WHOOPING COUGH also known as Pertussis.

So eleven z-packs later and waiting to see who needs boosters; I am calmly handing out pills to those eleven and older and dosing the younger ones with yummy sticky syrup that they all hate.

For those of you who may not have known that this greatly needed vaccination is possibly wearing out as the clock ticks away the minutes and years in your adolescent's life - now you know. So call your child's doctor today and see if your adolescents need a booster. I believe we will be needing about four of these boosters, unless Elsa missed hers. In which case we will be getting five. But with one child with severe asthma and another with a heart condition - I am very grateful for the antibiotics, the vaccinations and the co-operation of all of the medical offices that were involved in treating our family. They made what could have been a very complicated situation go very smoothly. Read more!

clean hands, clean hearts

As we drove to Thanksgiving Mass yesterday, I was informed that someone had failed inspection and had dirty nails. Jonathan and I switched places and I inspected the culprit's nails. Two year old Elsa's nails were indeed very dirty! I quickly cleaned them, and as I worked on them, she and I chatted about the importance of being clean, especially in God's house. 'We want when Jesus smiles down on us from His little house behind the Alter - we want all of us to be clean for him," I told her. She nodded soberly with her quick short nods as only she can do.

I suddenly realized that a great teaching moment had been awakened for me to share with five year old Emma who was sitting behind Elsa, in her car seat.

"Emma?" I said as I turned around to look at her. "Let me see your nails please." She quickly showed me her clean little hands and smiled when I pronounced them clean. Very clean!!

"Now, how about your heart?" I asked. "Is your heart clean?"

She thought quietly for a second, her right hand resting just about where her heart should be.

The slowly she nodded. "Yes Mummy, my heart is clean. I hasn't eaten anything since supper last night. Just a little drink of water at bedtime. " Read more!

The answers... finally!

But what I really don't understand is how parents manage all those kids!

Well, I can not speak for all parents but I can say that in our home we use a combination of means to keep order. I have a huge schedule that is about 4 feet wide and three feet long. Across the top are the days of the week and down the side are the chores and under each day of the week is the name of the person who is responsible for that job. Some parents prefer to just ask whomever is around to do the job that is needed but I found that when I did it like that, that I often ended up asking the same kids over and over. It seemed as if a few of my children were born with extra sensitive antennae that allowed them to figure out when I was about to look for someone to was dishes, change the garbage or a diaper, and they would simply vanish.

So I came up with a schedule that offers variety, but is rarely changed. As children get older and can handle more chores, than I take the time to update the chart but as it is a very large chart - it is not a chore I am eager to tackle. (Even mums can be lazy too!)

I also have competitions that allow kids to earn movie nights by winning chore races. If you earn a movie night – you get to select the movie we watch as well as what treats we have. We also can earn points with clean rooms that allow us to have a special treat on Friday nights.

As we are coming up to Advent, many of the children are doing extra chores to earn extra points so that they can buy treats from my treat box with their points to give to the sibling that they are the secret angel to.

Every Thanksgiving we draw names from a bag or basket and we keep drawing until everyone has pulled a name that is not theirs out of the basket. So if the oldest daughter, Amanda, pulls the baby’s name, Elsa, from the basket she is then the secret angel to that child and will leave little treats and gifts though out the weeks of Advent for Elsa to find – usually on Elsa’s pillow. She also prays for that child and does acts of charity for her. For example a secret angel might slip into their person’s room and make their bed in secret.

Then for Christmas, Amanda will buy a gift only for Elsa and Elsa will give a gift to the person she is secret angel to. (As she is the baby, I will do this for her.)

But even with all of these schemes to keep order in our home, we still experience chaos on a fairly regular basis. Have any of you watched the Home Alone movies? Well, the general bedlam that you see as the two families rush out the door to leave for the airport is the typical morning scene at our home as we zero into the last minutes before take off time in our 15 passenger van for daily 7 am Mass. We try to go to daily Mass as it really helps to have these additional graces but, to be honest, we do not always make it every day of the week

I wonder what the house sounds like, because in mine it’s not the quietest.

Some families on TV don’t fight and that is so weird to me because my families always fight, I sometimes wish that my house could be very quiet.

When we first moved to this house – I thought I would lose my mind. I even considered looking for a different house because this house has plaster walls that echo and echo and echo and echo…. But we adjusted to it.

Something that I do from time to time is enforce a quiet time, especially when the baby is napping. At that time each child is asked to take a book to their room and read or look at the pictures if they are not reading yet. Other times we put a movie on and sit quietly together to watch it and the baby will nurse and eventually fall asleep in my arms. It is very peaceful when we do this and we all enjoy it.

But typically there is always a back ground hum going on. Someone will be practicing on the piano, someone else will be listening (at the same time) to their favourite artist on Rhapsody while another person is playing a computer game what is bleeping and dinging. Occasionally a little one’s voice rises in an argument with another sibling over all of this music. Sometimes I put headphones on and listen to a radio program while I work at the computer so that I can concentrate. And sometimes it is very, very quiet. And that usually means trouble is brewing somewhere. (And yes I agree, families that don’t fight, argue or have disagreements on TV are not normal! Learning how to settle differences of opinion is an important skill to learn in life.)

What kind of job does your husband have to support 12 kids? I think that the amount of grace God has given your family is amazing.

My husband used to work for a very large telecommunications company, NORTEL. Then the high tech bubble collapsed and many people were laid off. My husband was one of the last to be laid off from his company so by then – there were no jobs left in his area of expertise. So he took a hobby of his and turned it into a business. We lost our home and our van and we have had to build our life completely back up from scratch. We are still struggling. We only have eight children still at home but it is still a lot of people to support. Our oldest sons have made a lot of sacrifice to help the family. Our son who is 20 has stayed home and not pursued further education so as to help his father with the business. Recently we learned that he has a serious heart condition which was very hard for him as his dream was to eventually join the army. Now he might not be ever able to do this. Still, he works hard to help us and is trying to discern what is God’s will in his life. Hopefully he will completely recover from this heart condition. Our oldest son has taken two semesters off from his University studies to help with the business and is hoping to be able to continue to help us with the bills next semester with a part time job while he finishes his last semester at college. Our oldest girls have helped whenever they can in little ways and they have certainly prayed a lot for us.

The past six years of our life has been a very long test of faith and we have been blessed with the opportunity to actually see ourselves grow in faith. It has not been easy and sometimes we have felt that our faith has failed us greatly - only to be given the graces we needed to get up, dust ourselves off and start yet again. And each time it has been just a little bit easier. What has kept us going is that we have tried to remember that God never gives us more than we can handle. And sometimes – it is ok to get angry with God and demand more graces. Just two weeks ago – I cried out to God that He must absolutely give me more graces if He wanted me to carry this cross any further because I was falling! Never be afraid to call on God for help, never be afraid to tell Him “I can’t do it, YOU must carry me now!” I have had to do this a lot the past six years and I have realized that I will have to keep doing this the rest of my life. I simply can not do this alone – Jesus and Mary are my partners. Mary prays for me and Jesus gives me the graces through her prayers.

Is it a hassle to have that many kids??? But I bet it’s a blessing to have so many kids.

Is this many kids a hassle? Not really, but making 30 or more sandwiches can be a hassle. Keeping track of the number of socks we need – can be a hassle. Trying not to lose any of them (the children, not the socks) at the zoo – can be a hassle. Settling the numerous arguments can be a really big hassle. But every single hassle is more than worth it for we are paid over and over in love and blessings. I am almost 46 but I feel as though I am still in my late twenties or early thirties. I am so very, very blessed. There is always someone nearby me to hug and kiss or to hug and kiss me, or to remind me in no small way of God’s love for me.

Now if I was this mom I would really want a couple of priests and nuns out of such a big family.

We are praying that we have a few vocations out of our family. My husband and I think it would be very strange if we did not. Besides if ALL of them got married and even only had four children each, we would have 48 grandchildren, and if the average number was 5 than we would have 60 grandchildren - and I am not sure I could remember that many names. Whatever happens, I think I will be needing a very large calendar to be able to record all of the special dates and occasions that we will be able to look forward to as grand parents, and hopefully also as the parents of some members of the religious.

I sometimes feel like my moms only paying attention to my sisters or my brothers. With your family that would be super hard.

I think that this is super hard, even when you only have four children as each child is an individual and brings his and her own needs to the family. These can greatly vary. When we still only had four children our youngest had serious food allergies that were affecting his behavior that required us to focus a lot on him. Sometimes the other children felt very jealous and did not understand why the family rules did not always apply to him. As adults now, they understand but then – it was very difficult. It was also very difficult for us.

Still we made an effort to compensate and have from time to time, we have made the effort to take one child at a time out once a week, so that each child had an opportunity to spend time alone with one of their parents. We have not done this as much lately, because with the family business there has often been the occasion to take children, in small numbers, on business trips. Sometimes they have even been able to go alone with their father on long trips or short day trips. We are continuously adapting and changing how we do things based on where and what we perceive the greatest needs to be. Again – this is where our need for God’s graces comes in. We are able to gain the graces we need through attending Mass, receiving Holy Communion and also through Confession. We try to take advantage of these sacraments as much as possible.

But in addition to this, we have also told the children that it is important to tell us when they are feeling alone and ignored. We have told them – “We are only human and sometimes we are not aware of what you are feeling so please, please tell us when you feel you need sometime alone with us.” This has helped because sometimes a child has done this and occasionally – it has been an adult child who has come and said – “I need to talk, there is something wrong between us and I want to fix it.”

I don’t know if they would have been able to do that if we had not made them, when they were children, partly responsible for the relationship between them and ourselves.

I think I have covered all of the questions that came up in the comments. And I want to thank you all again for the wonderful comments you shared about your thoughts about my article on family life and discerning family size.

I hope and pray that all of you have a peaceful Advent season and a wonderful Christmas.

God Bless

mum2twelve aka Christi

Read more!

Share and Share alike...

We all like to teach our children to share and typically when they are not willing to share we are not very happy with them. On occasion though, their devious means of getting out of sharing something is so funny that we can not help but laugh.

Jonathan (22) seeing an opportunity to teach a sharing moment with 2 year old Elsa asked her for a taste of her "bug juice' that she has been proudly announcing to one and all as her spider juice!

Elsa, normally willing to share was not so inclined to do so that night. Perhaps she was still offended by the fact that so many others had legitimately not been willing to share drinks with her earlier this week as several of them had active cold sores. She clung to her little bottle of blue juice protectively and shyly said no to his repeated requests.

Suddenly her face brightened as we all insisted that she share just a little taste with her big brother. Boldly she pronounced:

"No, I can't share wit you. I has a cold sore!!" and she slapped her hand over one side of her mouth and with the other she clasped her little bottle close to her chest and beat a hasty retreat out of the dining room.

Happily she later decided to share her bug juice with her oldest brother who bravely strove to hide his shudder of distaste for the sickly sweet blue juice. There is no end of sacrifice these siblings are willing to make for each other! Read more!

Missing Person here in NC

I have received this poster through a prayer line that I belong to. I hope to be able to add a photo later today. Please share this information with as many people as you can and please pray that this young man is reunited with his family and that this missing person case, has a happy ending - in contrast to the normal very sad outcome that most cases have.

POLICE Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department

601 East Trade Street

Charlotte, North Carolina 28202

Missing Person

Date: November 13, 2007

(First) (Last)

Name: Kyle Fleischmann

Race: White Gender: Male

Height: 6'0" Weight: 180 pounds

DOB: 9-24-83 NIC Number: M826970506

Eyes: Green Hair: Blond

Date of Last Contact: 11-09-2007

Last Known Location: 201 E. 5th St.

Complaint Number: 20071109-201500

CCHS CLASS OF 2002

Additional Information:

Kyle was last seen leaving the Buckhead Saloon at the corner of 5th St. and College St. at 02:20 AM on

November 9, 2007. Kyle was wearing a dark colored shirt and blue jeans.

The cell phone activity on Kyle's phone is in the uptown area and mainly in the 1st Ward area. The

activity on the cell phone concludes around 04:00 AM.

Anyone with information about Kyle, Please call

Crime Stoppers at (704) 334-1600 or 911

Detective J. L. Tuttle (704) 336-3949

Read more!

A Man's viewpoint....

While I suspect the majority of my readers are women, I think all of us will all enjoy these rules. Please feel free to copy and post them on your blogs if you wish to. Anything we can do to help our men get their point of view help I am sure will be appreciated. (Please note I have tried to make the font unified through out the post but as this was a cut and paste from an email, in some spots the size is varied and I could not fix it. My energy is severely limited at this time so I did not waste a lot of it in trying to make it perfect.)

The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Thank you to Dorry who shared these rules with me.
Great timing Dorry, I really needed a good smile!

Read more!

still working on those answers...

I began working on responses to the questions and started with the intention of responding to each comment personally but soon realized that I have not the energy at this time to answer so many comments, as wonderful as each comment was. So I will begin again tomorrow and confine myself to the questions only. Thank you again to all of your wonderful students for the awesome thoughts you each shared.

Blessings
mum2twelve aka Christi Read more!

My apologies to my readers...

for my long silence. I have been ill. Not bed ridden can't get around ill. But too ill to do more than the necessary and I am not well yet. Tomorrow I have an appointment and I hope to get to the crux of the problem - but it does not help that my regular doctor is out for a week. Please join me in praying that the Doctor that I will meet for the first time will be able to sort out the cause of my symptoms.

As well, one of the older children suffered a somewhat serious burn last week (1st and 2nd degree combo) and is recovering from this, so we are short a pair of hands. And we had a pseudo Thanksgiving last week as our eldest daughter was only able to come home last week. So lucky us - we will have two dinners! We never miss a chance to celebrate. I hope to share a few of the pics my daughter took with her cell phone. Our family camera has been pressed into service for the business as the two business cameras gave up the ghost at the same time.

And now I leave you all to go back and read all those lovely comments and questions from the grade seven class so that I can finally answer the questions as I had promised ever so long ago.
Beware though, I am on pain medication that makes me dizzy so the type os might be a bit on the heavy side. Read more!

WOW!

I am so humbled. A teacher to a Catholic Seventh Grade class asked her students to read my post In Response and to comment on the article. Their comments which can be read here - have really humbled me. It is wonderful to see so many young children wanting to live their faith and feeling inspired by our family.

They had many questions about family life in such a large family - I will try to answer these questions later, in another post. Today though I have an article due so I have to work on that.

Thank you Soutenus for sharing your students' comments with me! Read more!

Child of God...

Emma, who is five now, said to me as she passed by me in the dining room earlier this week.

"Mummy - I love you"

I love you too Emma" I replied.

She paused and looked at me and said "But of course, you know that I love Jesus more."

I smiled at her and said "Yes, and that is HOW it is supposed to be Emma. That is how it is supposed to be."

She smiled again and continued on her merry way.

Today, while discussing with Hugo, our future, I told him about this little happening and added: "By todays' standards, this child should never have been born. In fact, BY THE WORLD'S STANDARDS, none of our children, after the first two or three, should have been born .
If we had listened to society, we would never have been privileged to bring into this world this beautiful child of God, who knows who she is supposed to love the most... what a beautiful gift we have given to God. And that God has given to us.... "

It is good for Hugo and I to remember this now and then, when we are struggling with where we are by the world's standards and where we are by God's measurements. Read more!